4 days after my text message, he called- 3 times,too

I had dinner with Peter today.

Not only with him,unfortunately. Well...around 3 pm of today, he called me. it's been 4 days since we last met and that I begun to wonder if he was ever attracted to me at all because he's been so quiet.

I had to meet with Paul ,his girlfriend ,and this guy from accounting company today. After the meeting, we went to this place and waited for Peter and his assistant.

Tonight we chatted a lot as usual. But it's more like the attempt of getting to know eachother. Not that there's no attraction there. But it's more like getting to know eachother as I wrote. He could be someone seem to be my age and also someone older who can teach me. I think, I can feel that he can handle me ,really. Eventhough he seems soft but I really think he can handle me.

This guy is unpredictable again. I'm not sure what he's thinking. After tonight, does he still think of me as interesting at all? (he told his bestfriend-before tonight- that he's attracted to me). I'm not sure and I don't know.

Well...but I'm just like this. May be he will go back to his ex-girlfriend afterall. Peter is so cute and charming. I really like it when he smiles.

Good night- I don't even know when I will see him again. But I think I like him.

Peter Peter Peter-you and your auburn hair with your brown eyes and sincere smile.

I think the good thing I did last night finally paid off. God blessed me today for the fact that I didn't cross any boundary with Tom and I just don't regret it at all.

Today I met Peter again-unexpectedly. Paul took me to pick up his girlfriend and so dropped by at Peter's shop which is near by the area of the appointment.

He was working. We talked a bit and he smiled and my heart beat really fast. He's so freaking cute!!! I found myself so very into his eyes. He has sexy eyes.

Anyway we went to a restaurant and waited for him there. Finally he showed up. We reserved a place for him to sit next to me and we chatted. At first it didn't seem like we would chat a lot but he just started a conversation and I felt at ease. He told me about his college life and they were funny! So ....we laughed, chatted, and just forgot about the others at the table. As this kind of story always went. I think he is sensitive and has a good heart. Anyways

He gave me an advice that I should always go visiting my own restaurant so employees will be too afraid to do any silly things. Anyway, his eyes can be serious, sad and fun. Of course he still misses his ex.

Sometimes I wondered whether he was just being friendly with me or if he was any interested at all. I think I became quite sure that he must have at least a tiny inch of interest when we left that restaurant and walked to get a cab. He was with me most of the time and if not, he would be the last one of them waiting for me to catch up with him. He held my handbag once to help me getting stuff. We crossed the road together and I knew he almost held my hand. Well...he's nice.

We all went to a massage place. I just went to sleep. After waking up, we all felt kinda numb and dreamy. We went home. He still talked to me a bit. He got off. and that's it.

So I figured I should do something. So I sent him a mobile text message. Wow--by this time if he's not asleep, he must be reading it by now. He's such a busy man. he's got telephone calls all the time. May be he's interested in me but I think I might just be a rebound girl for him. well...he's cute and nice. Should I say no?

I won myself, my heart, and my needs.

Today I did something that I'm very proud of. It's not the fact that I actually got to practise managing the way I promised Jack. It's not the fact that I actually made a girl cry because of me being too unapprochable or anything like that at all. It's the fact that I refused to let anything further going on with Tom tonight.

You remember Tom? I used to have a crush on him though he's my employee. I haven't spoken much to him ever since the evening we had a 4 hour long talk. Whenever I had to speak to him, it would only be about work. My managers have been very tired this week so I baught them dinner this evening as a way to say thank you for being there for me during one of my most difficult times in business.

just the 4 of us having dinner. Me, Paul, Paul's girlfriend-Tory, Tom, and Ted. Everyone except for Tory and me were drunk. Tom was less drunk because he has to work early in the morning tomorrow. So he drove us home. First off, he took Paul and Tory home, then dropped off Ted for a cab, then...me.

It's not that I still like him a lot or something like that but I just haven't seen Peter anymore. And yesterday, Peter didn't show up at Jack's Party when he said he would so he's missing a chance of seeing me there. I still remember how intelligent he is but this girl is quite lonely and very stressed out. How'd that song of Garbage go again? "I'm overworked and undersexed" So this girl is quite horny,right? Even a boss has a right to be horny like other human beings.

So he took me home. It was a short trip but I just could sense the old flame burning inside my body--well in my chest and between my legs. You can just call it "chemistry".

During dinner time, I got to speak with Tom a bit. And I tried hard to control any chemistry that could ever happen. But I knew that the old flame must be burning inside him helplessly. I bet.

In a truck together alone, I became very quiet. He's the one doing the talking. I just nodded or didn't comment anything. He didn't speak much actually since I just bit my lips and said nothing. I figured that that was the safest way to prevent anything further from happening. I couldn't help noticing that he drove slower than usual. I couldn't help thinking that he wished that the time would last longer.

When we reached my house, he drove the truck rearwards so that it would be adjacent to the wall. Why? why not adjacent to the gate?? Well...at that moment it just ticked me that there might be a kiss going on and he didn't want anyone to see it.

Seriously it can happen. It's 2.30 AM. Very dark. We're alone with this old flame between us. I was unusually quiet that any fool can understand that I felt that flame,too. I was even afraid that he would just grab me and kiss me. Really-- it's just a click of my finger for all making out to happpen. But quickly, I chose to get out of the truck. I had been avoiding his eye contact every way possible. Avoiding any further conversation. All those times, I just bit my lips and stared downwards at my lap. He saw it. He glanced at me, I know. I think he wished for all that to happen.

I just got out of the truck and he handed me my bag. We tried not to have our hands touched. I looked down all the time. I just walked away and tried to find my keys to enter the house. That was it! The moment's gone.

Now I feel--shamed for having no kisses from a guy but I also feel proud of myself for doing such a correct and great thing!!! This is so much better than any task I finished this week. Very very good! This is good! Thank you God. Thank you.

Chaotic kitchen,

This morning I recieved an urgent call from my account manager. No cheves came to work today!!!

That's right! I think I came to a real strike!!! They said they wouldn't talk about this on the phone. They wanted us to go there and talk to them. My answer??? Go to hell!!!

So I passed on my message to Paul. Had him told Tom to take care of taking all house keys and necessary items from them. (we rented a house for them, that's right)
Had them leave immediately.

For the food? Anybody who knows how to cook even a little bit in my company joined the party in a kitchen today. Tomorrow, Tom will be the head chef. I mean for tomorrow.

The ex-head chef- Rita the bitch- tried to call my mother today twice. She probably thought that that would reach me somehow. Sorry babe!

You remember Jack? Paul's friend? We're trying to contact him about new cheves he promised to send.

Whatelse? Good things go too slow today. Bad things speed up fast!

I miss Peter. Does he like me? When will I see him again?

Peter

There went a serious story. Here comes the relaxing one.

I just came back home. This is 2.30 in the morning. I had dinner with Paul and 3 other really intelligent managers (who don't work for me- don't misunderstand).

I'm in the learning phase. They taught me great lesson today. Me and Paul have been really tired. One of these 3 guys is Paul's brother. The others are Paul's best friends. From now on I will call them as Jack, Peter and Paul's brother is Edgar. Jack is this rebellious chef's old boss. He feels very bad about the incident. He sent her to help us and she made him lose his face. I've seen Jack a lot.

They all are smart and easy going. Edgar and Peter, I just met today for the first time. Jack and Paul always wanted me to meet Peter. Peter is an Aris. And I always find Aris guys irresistable. First boyfriend is an aris and so is the second one. Two of them are the ones I've ever loved. True, my love life has been kind of exciting. But--hey! I'll tell ya later. A girl gotta have a secret!

Anyways,an aris is just sexy and powerful to me. I'm a saggitarius and I just need someone who can handle me in every way. Who can make me respect and give up on my ego. Besides I find their bossiness very sexual attractive to me. I'm very active about sex! (: Anyway that's not the point.

I met Peter today. He's so fucking much smarter than me and the smartest guy I have ever flirted with in my whole entire fucking life!!! Peter is this character "Sai" in this manga "Ninja Naruto". He's unpredictable. He hides his intelligence in the smoothest way. You can't imagine what he's thinking. He just smiles in every situation. He speaks softly-not too talkative. I finally understood his advice at the end of the night. He ,first off, told me his advice and I didn't even get it! How embarassing. He has this korean-Japanese looking. he's around 33-34 years old. But he looks so young. He seems to be someone harmless and shallow on the surface. He's just smart and I'm just dumb. I almost felt like he has no good advices. Almost!

The thing that drew me away from this idea is because of the story from Paul that he's this kind of person. And also because of small observations I made about him. Sometimes he seemed like he wasn't watching but he always knew if I wanted something such as rice or water ,etc. He's the one giving me an advice about "someone want to be ordered and someone don't" I'm not sure what kind of person I am actually.

I understood at one point of the night that he's not powerless when I looked straight into his eyes. He always seems to have this harmless eyes. But at that point when we got to sit next to eachother. I saw the "fire" in his eyes for a couple of seconds. Just a couple of seconds. My breath was out of control a little bit.

And underneath the personality of someone far from a player, I saw passion in his eyes that made me -even now dream of. Really, he has nice eyes. They're sparkling and powerful (even for a couple of seconds when you really look into them). They're intelligent and seem to know what you think. There's a great passion in him, I'll tell ya. I felt it for just a couple of seconds only and I knew he's only a "man". I felt it from his eyes and from the nearness of his hand when he passed me a lighter. I just want to day dream about him and wonder what it would be like to grab his hand and rip off his shirt and kiss him.

Ok that's enough. That's enough. Tom was just incomparable to him. really! Peter is the businessman- did I tell ya? Huh ok stop!

Anyway- too bad I'm too dumb. I couldn't reach into him as much. I always almost felt that he's shallow and thinks nothing, know nothing all the time. This is a prove that I just can't catch up with him. How can he be interested in a dumb girl like this!!! He should be into some smart women. May be he's not interested at all. Really, I should focus on my job.

I should focus on my job because I want to be tougher and smarter. It feels good to be smart. Not smartass. Tomorrow I have to prove this. I will talk to the head of my cheves. I like smart men. It's hard to find smart people with moral. A book says that if you want to be attracted to from a certain type of guys, you have to be one of them. May be if these kind of people are what I like, I have to be one of them afterall. Yes?? Agreed?

The night ended, They left durin the time I went to a restroom. I was dissappointed a bit. I don't know when I will meet him again. Paul said to me that they left before us because they want to show us respect that we are high level of managing directors. Such a guy's world I am in. And all I wish is the further move I should have with him. What a silly girl. Their thoughts are deeper. They want to see me a top businesswoman- a career I've always dreampt of since I was a third year in a college.

I just flirted a bit with the most intelligent businessman... (: and I got his number

Whever I forget, I will come and read this again and again

So many days have passed. My stories are full of crying, anger, lost, and enlightenement. I cannot tell a lot for you guys will be just bored of wall of texts. I will just say that my business have been going through so many sides. I've been cut by almost every sharp turn of business. Don't really get it? That's ok.

1 I've not had enough money to pay to everyone. I discovered that I lost 100,000 baht of profits. (1 dollar=40 baht)
2 I've a small strike from my cheves. Might be common for westerners but not for me. I've paid them really really well. I opened up another canteen and I need their help. I opened up another one because I had to. I just needed to see that they would return my favour. But no..they see this as a chance to earn more pay, take more control of a company for they believe there's no chance for me to hire some others.
3 I was betrayed by my own uncle. I don't know whether this is 100% true. But one souce told me that he's been having an affair with one of the cheves and probably been listening to all she says. This made him spilling all our secrets to her, and doesn't really care much about my good deeds. It hurts. He took care of me when I was young..

And today I just learned a great lesson of management. Isn't it weird that employees who are taken advantage of from their bosses, always behave well. It's because...bosses need to build up the "system" that will control them as much as they can so they can take advantage of their employees. These employess are people who like to be ordered around. They just become nutcase when there's no rules forcing them. They can't be nice on their own. Other people who are not like this are the people who don't like being ordered around.

Another thing is that there are 2 kinds of workers only in this world. First off, is workers who work for money. Second is workers who work for their pleasure in working.
The second group is rare in this world. When we find one, keep him well. Give him a lot of payment so he can be with us for as long as possible. So manager's duty is to find out whether that worker belongs to the first group or the second group. Try to meet their needs. In the same time controlling them with sets of rules and systems-always, always. When we run into people like my cheves, it may be because I just couldn't meet their needs.

Obviously, my cheves belong to the first group of worker. Their needs are being controlled, and money. If the system is well, they might just work for money and can't cheat or act naughty like this.

I have to write these down so that this knowledge will sink into my brain and my heart for as long as possible----hopefully lifetime. They almost got me lose my business. This management course is expensive. Everytime I forget, I will come and read this.

Normally people want to seem nice and be appreciated by everybody. But bosses come with the greater and harder responsibility. Since good people can become bad and bad people can become good. This depends on the system and rules. The boss's job is to building a system and rules. The boss's job is to identifying which type of workers they have. The boss's job is to be hated and feared for we pay! The money's ours! We pay! Do not fear them! There's always a replacement for everyone. Might be equally good, better, or worse but there's always a replacement. Distinguish feeling from this job! Obviously, all my workers except for Paul belong to the first group. No matter how nice the future workers are, they will become bad in this zero system environment as this. I made a promise to this man that I need to keep. That is ,from now on, I will always be strict, and full of system. I need to keep it since I say "yes" to him.

My cheves are the great case of study especially the head of them. This guy, whom I made a promise to, is her old boss. He told me that she used to be nice and will never leave her work undone. But when she's with me, she feels fine to leave her work undone. What's with that?

The answer is - she is the kind of people who doesn't have her own ground of believes. She is like water. She will flow to wherever the direction of the geography leads to. When she worked with her old boss, she's surrounded by this collegue who belongs to the second type of worker. So she becomes something like that,too. But in this new environment, she immitates the first type of collegue. Today they told me they would leave home early because they're tire. They didn't care whether there will be someone cooking or not! She used to not be like this! Great case study. When no rules nor punishment, disaster rules.