From 15th to today

After getting so pissed at not having much money left, I went to have dinner with my managing director. We consulted and came up with a solution and I just felt better already just to change the atmosphere. But it's still the same. I am the fucking rule!!!

Anyway the day after, Me, my managing director ,and my crush, whom from now on will be called Tom, had dinner to discuss about the new solution and to have him spilling out secret he ran into during working at the canteen. The job was talked through and well. We all opened up. It improved the loyalty with the company.

We drank quite a lot from 5.30 pm upto 2 am so we all were quite tipsy. At one point, starting from Tom spilling out his family secret. One thing led to another. Next thing I knew was that Tom started to tell me how he felt about me. He told me I probably knew and he's been uncomfortable about this for quite a while. He told me that it would be better if I am 1 or 2 years younger than him (I am one year older). It's quite serious for Asian, I think. He said that because of this, he couldn't make a move on me when he does want to. He also said that I am just his type of girls -- independant, fearless to search for my trueself (careerwise), not afraid of being myself. He told me that eventhough he wanted to know me more, he can't. Which may be better off. So he came to his decision to work the hardest for me. He will help me achieve my dream in business world. This is out of all his good feelings.

I just nodded and said nothing. We said nothing else about this for the rest of the night for there were so much to discuss and for the fact that there was no time alone for the two of us.

I was quite speechless- It was 2.30 when I got home. It was rough somehow. I had to stand in front of my house for half an hour, then slept in a kitchen instead for all doors inside my house were locked and noone would wake up for me. Shit!

This morning, I had a lot of things on my mind. It's lucky for him to be able to ,at least, tell me how he feels. I can't even do that! Hey..wait a minute...may be this is just a trap for me!!! Damn! Anyway I just had to do what I wanted to do. Which is calling him and told him the story of Achilles- a guy who chose duty over love. I was trying to make my point that I am just like Achilles. Don't know if this made any sense,though.

This evening, My late shift was missing employees so I have to go there and be one myself. The problem was quite complicated. There's no any other choice. Well...let's just say...this night, I'm not gonna be able to sleep!!!

That's the end for today.